Snape's Confession
by Lily-in-Utopia
Summary: It's the day of Lily and James' wedding, and Severus realises this could be his last chance to tell Lily the secret he's been keeping for years...


**Snape's Confession**

Severus

Severus did not know why he was there. He had not made a conscious decision to be there. He just was. He could hear laughter, and feel the air brimming with anticipation. It made him feel sick. He pressed his forehead against the wall and closed his eyes. He hoped this would make his head stop spinning, help him to gather this thoughts, but it did not. His breaths came quickly, his heart beating way to fast.

_I cannot be seen_, he thought. _Not by anyone_.

Lily

She knew it was normal to feel unsettled on such a day – every married woman she knew had told her that your wedding day is one of the scariest days of your life - but she still couldn't help thinking that pre-wedding jitters didn't feel quite like _this._ She just couldn't shake this feeling of uneasiness, and she was sure it was somehow connected to the fact that she simply could not stop thinking about Severus Snape. _Why_? Of course she still thought about him, but it always brought pangs of regret and a longing for how things used to be, so she tried to keep her mind focused on the present when she could. But today…_today_ of all days, when she was trying to put Severus behind her...

Severus

This was the first time he had visited Godric's Hollow. He didn't think much of the place, but then again he was pretty certain that he would hate anywhere Potter was planning on living. He was standing in somebody's garden (presumably the Potters' to be), and was sincerely hoping that he would not be discovered lurking amongst the hydrangeas, for, besides leading to some very awkward questions, he would most certainly lose his reputation. Severus was not one to be associated with flowers, particularly hydrangeas. Well, there was in fact one flower, and only one, that he would ever want to be associated with. And she was, as he realized now, separated from him only by the very wall he was leaning against.

Lily

What was _wrong_ with her? She had to get him out of her head NOW. She was about to get married to James. She chose James. She was in love with James. But the more she'd thought about Sev, the more she was beginning to wonder if she'd been in love with him, too. Could she have been? At one point she had been sure Severus was falling for her, but then he had called her a Mudblood. _Mudblood_…and if he had loved her, why hadn't he fought harder for her?

Severus

He had to see her. Just get one glimpse, to remember her by…before she belonged to Potter. He held his breath and took a step towards the open window. He dared himself to look through. And there she was. Sitting in front of a mirror, her back to him. Her dark red hair, cascading down her back, was gently braided with tiny white roses. Suddenly she looked up, and to his horror, she saw his face reflected in the mirror, watching her. She let out a small scream and spun around to face him.

Severus froze. "Shit!"

"You just swore like a Muggle!"

A stunned silence followed their outbursts. They stood facing each other in complete astonishment, him breathless from her beauty; she just appeared to be shocked by his presence.

"Do you…um…want to come in?"

"I hadn't been planning to."

"No, I didn't suppose so… most people who visit generally prefer entering through doors."

"I thought I'd try the window. You know, for a change."

Severus hesitated before climbing awkwardly through the window. Lily couldn't help but giggle as his cloak got stuck in the window frame, yanking him back as he tried to take a step towards her. He blushed and decided not to attempt any more sudden movements.

"So," she began.

"You look…beautiful, Lily."

"Thank you. You look…stuck…let me help you…" she walked over to him and unhooked his cloak from the window-frame. He felt goosebumps where she touched him.

"This is probably the most we've said to each other in about 5 years."

She smiled politely at him. He smiled politely back.

"I'm not going to try and change your mind. I know you wouldn't be marrying him if you didn't love him. Why it has to be Potter, of all people, I wouldn't know. But I…I wasn't planning to come here today. Or ever, actually. But when I woke up this morning, and realized that it was your wedding day…I also realized that that meant this is the last time I am going to get a chance to say this." He swallowed.

"Well so long as you're not about to confess your undying love or something, I mean it would be a bit late for that!" she said jokingly, indicating to her wedding dress, hanging on the door behind her.

Severus flushed crimson.

Lily gasped. "Oh…you…you really did come here to say that, didn't you?"

If possible, he turned an even deeper shade of red, and nodded. Lily closed her eyes in horror. "Oh Sev, I am so, so sorry."

"No, Lily, please don't apologize."

Tears were pouring silently down Lily's cheeks. "All – all this time?" she choked.

"Eleven years." He too had tears streaking his face.

"Severus…" she buried her face in his neck and sobbed. He held her to him, and they stood together, in a silent embrace. After a time, she raised her head and looked into his eyes. "In another time…different circumstances…we would have been together…but too…too much has changed for us to go back, Severus…"

"I know," he whispered softly. "It was too late for us, the moment I…that day down by lake…" He couldn't help it, more tears escaped him, and fell gently down his face and into Lily's hair.

"I'm so sorry; I never meant to call you that! I never meant to...I've never thought that of you, never," he said softly, but fiercely, and in response Lily pressed her fingers to his lips.

"Shhhh. You don't have to convince me of anything, Sev. I already know…"

He slowly took her hand in his, their fingers entwined, and lowered it. He gently pressed his lips against her cheek, lingering perhaps a moment too long, secretly breathing in the scent of her. They moved even closer. She could feel his nervousness, the tension mounting between the two of them, the thrill and incredible ecstasy in anticipation of the impending kiss…and their lips met, delicately, precisely, urgently…

With a jolt of adrenaline, of daring, and on impulse, yet with every ounce of sincerity, he whispered, "run away with me…"


End file.
